I just wanted to write a quick post about medication. There’s such a stigma that surrounds mental health medication and I really don’t know why? If you were diabetic, you wouldn’t hesitate to take insulin. If you had epilepsy, you wouldn’t hesitate to take an anti convulsant. If you had chronic pain, you wouldn’t hesitate to to take painkillers. So if you have a mental health problem, why should it be frowned upon to take medication?
Starting on fluoxetine was one of the best decisions I ever made. I’m not saying that alone pulled me from the depths of my depression, but it certainly made a big difference. I felt like I was drowning, and after a few weeks on the medication I felt as though my head was above water. I was still being pulled by the current, but I could breathe again, I could think more clearly and see things more rationally. And now I’m in a good place, a place I never dreamed I would get to, I feel this is the right time to try going it alone.
I’m not finding it too difficult actually. I was expecting mood swings, anxiety, headaches etc, etc, but I’m doing ok. I am, however, having extremely vivid dreams, and they’re not nice dreams either. It’s strange because not long ago I couldn’t sleep. I’d wake up numerous times in the night, drifting in and out, my mind whirring with worry. I genuinely hadn’t had a good nights sleep in over a year. And now I’m sleeping deeply, so deeply that I’m disorientated when my alarm goes off in the morning, confused as to where I am because I’m so caught up in my dream. I can remember what I’ve been dreaming about only for the first few minutes when I wake up, I couldn’t tell you now what I was dreaming about last night, but what I can tell you is that it’s always distressing. When I wake up and realise I’ve been dreaming I’m relieved. And although I’ve slept through the night, I don’t feel particularly rested because I can tell I’ve been stressed. I’m hoping that’ll start to wear off in a couple of weeks as my body readjusts. Fingers crossed!
But all in all, I just want to say that medication is often an integral part of recovery and shouldn’t be deemed as a weakness or failure. It shows courage, and a real desire to get better. I’ve had an extremely positive experience all in all.