I’ve always told myself that I love exercise, and I do, it’s a great outlet, but I also think I’ve been in denial about it for a long time as well. I still feel the pressure to go to the gym a certain number of times a week, and often find myself dreading it for the whole afternoon because I’m tired and I’ve got a shit tonne of other stuff I need to do.
I recently downloaded a 10k training app which requires you to train 3 times a week. I’ve done 2 this week, but I’m going home this weekend and so won’t get chance to train on Saturday or Sunday. So I was planning on going for a run tonight, and its the longest one yet. I got home after a long day, I was starving, I felt tired and I just wanted to have a chill before heading to the train station, but I felt this pressure to go for a run. I feel this same pressure on a regular basis, and I don’t want that in my life anymore.
So I’ve decided that from hereon out, when I go to the gym or go for a run I do it for me. Not because I ‘should’. Not because I haven’t been in a few days. Because I want to. I don’t want to feel tired, dragging myself out, pushing myself to the limit and to the point where I simply don’t enjoy it. I want to enjoy exercise and the way it makes me feel. If that means my stamina goes down, so be it. If that means I gain a few more pounds, so be it. I don’t need it fuelling my anxiety anymore.
The most important thing in life is to do what’s right for you and what makes you happy. End of.